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First Day, First School - Getting your child ready for a big step - Preschool.
By: Dr. Laura Weidenfeld

Who doesn't remember their first day of preschool? Well, probably none of us really remember, but I bet our parents do. Sending your child to school for the first time can be a traumatic experience. When should they start, where are you going to send them and how many days a week should they attend? The right answers are personal and depend on the family situation.

I remember my daughter's first day. She was just over 2 and my husband and I walked into the classroom, holding her hand tightly. As the teacher took her hand from ours and walked her toward the circle of children playing, I heard frightened cries of "Mommy!" I rushed to embrace my "baby", and I realized that she was not the one crying. She was playing gleefully with two other children, seemingly unaware of our separation. She had joined in so easily. We were thrilled…sort of. Didn't she miss us? Didn't she love us? Every day after I left her, I would call to see how she was doing. The answer was always, fine. Maybe she was, but I wasn't.

For my family, as for many, work made preschool/day care a necessity. Still, I felt guilty leaving her for almost seven hours a day and wondered what she was doing every minute. She seemed to flourish, however. Each day she would talk about new friends she had made and sang songs she had learned at school.

Of course, not everyone's experience will be like this. Some parents have to peel their children off their leg and hand them, screaming, to the teacher. Believe me, despite my child's smooth start, we had these days as well. It's difficult to feel like you are doing the right thing when this happens. This transition, however, is a big part of what preschool is all about. It helps children learn to separate from their parents and be more independent and self-confident. Meanwhile, they develop social skills.

Most children start some kind of preschool program around age 3. This, of course, varies depending upon the needs of the family and the developmental level of the child. Once children are fairly verbal and coordinated, they seem to benefit from independent interaction with kids their own age (with adult supervision, of course). Children under 2, however, are not likely to gain much. At this age, they still "parallel play", meaning they play next to, not with, one another. Also, they don't follow directions well and reasoning with them is nearly impossible. While they do benefit from being around other children, introducing formalized schooling is not necessary at this age. A playgroup with other children and parents is an excellent option.

Remember, it's called "pre" school for a reason. There really should not be much formal teaching involved. At this age, most children are not ready for formal education, and pushing them too early could make them dislike school later. All the "book smarts" they need to know can easily be taught at home.

There are many things to look for when choosing a school. Most important is the overall environment. You need to be comfortable with the place your child goes to school. Evaluate the safety of the school, including both the classroom and playground areas. Other important factors are the turnover rate of teachers and the ability to drop by anytime to observe your child. I would be extremely wary of any school that does not have an "open door" policy for parents. Also, class size and adult-to-child ratios are important. Two and 3 year olds do better in classes of 10 or less, and the lower the ratio the better. In Las Vegas, the law states that for children under 3, there must be one adult per 10 children. This number increases to 13 for 3 - 5 year olds. Make sure the school follows these laws.

You may also want to discuss disciplinary styles, so you can decide if you are comfortable with the methods being used.

What matters most is not the academic reputation of the school, but the happiness of your child. When I pick my daughter up from school, and she asks to stay a few more minutes and play, I know I've made the right choice. With a little investigative work and patience, you will too.

Dr. Laura Weidenfeld, mother of 3 year old Alexa, is a pediatrician with Sunshine Valley Pediatrics in Summerlin.

Dr. Laura Weidenfeld
Laura Weidenfeld, M.D., Wesley J. Robertson, M.D. Amish Bhakta, M.D., Daniel Columbo, M.D., Joy Hall, M.D.